The Real Hermione
by colorguard hobbit
Summary: Hermione goes back in time to tell the REAL story of her life. NO Sugar coating!


Hi! It's my first fic ever so hi! I love this site and it's one of the reasons I got an email address. I think I've been lectured more times than I can talk about for printing these stories out !!!!!  
  
So please review!!! Especially if you didn't like it!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing! ( really!!! (maybe the plot?!?))  
  
"Damn that JK Rowling! She can't tell a fucking thing right! Why that god damn woman can't tell any story right. Has to sugar coat it for little kids. No fucking 10 year old should like a story so much to read a book that weighs almost as much as they do! "My name is Hermione. You may have heard of me. The girl in the Harry Potter books who is best friends with two guys but never gets any "benefits"? Come on that is SO not true!! I've done it with both Harry and Ron  
"It's just that god damn woman who writes about us and makes millions and we never get a dime! Plus we could never sue her who would believe us? Of course not! Of course we've sued her in wizard court but what did that prove? Something us wizards already knew? Come on! "So I'm going to tell it like it really is. The truth the whole truth and nothing more (or less like the books) "Get ready and hold on to your hats (pointed or not) for a trip back in time! "First stop my house minutes before I get my acceptance letter to Hogwarts!" ( my present day thoughts will be in parenthesis)  
  
"Oh, Eric I love you so much... that has got to be the best shag I've had yet!" (that's me. Duh.)  
"But I thought I was the first......"  
"Oh yeah well that's why you're the best so far." (Who's good! You have to admit THAT was a good save! So what if a girl is only 11 and has done it a couple times!? And that JK Rowling can take the buck toothed bull shit and shove it up her ass!) "HONEY!! Mail for you!" my mother called up the stairs. "Fuck! Eric we have to get our clothes on! Hurry you dumb fuck!" I hissed to Eric as I hastily pulled my pants on. We hurriedly put all of our clothes on and pulled the slightly smushed Shakespeare play 'The Taming of the Shrew' out from under my bed.  
Eric and I had just managed to situate ourselves when my mother came in.  
"Well Eric! How nice to see you! I'm sooooo glad you've been helping Hermione with her schoolwork. Your such a nice boy" my mother said smiling the whole time (boy parents are so retarded and blind.)  
"You have a letter, it says its for you and just you. It even has a stamp on the outside saying that you're supposed to open it when you're totally and completely alone. So Eric you should probably go home."  
Eric stood up and when he was out of my mother's line of vision he blew me a kiss. (I thought it was cute at the time but now that I've been with other guys I realize that once you've done it with a guy )  
Mom handed me the letter then sat down. I gave her the 'what the hell do you want?' look. But she just sat there oblivious so what ever. I opened the letter and a peace of parchment fell out. Before I even saw if my mother grabbed it to read it.  
"What the hell are you doing! That's my letter not yours! Why do you always invade my privacy!" I screamed at her not even trying to keep my voice down. (I knew my dad was asleep downstairs.)  
"Oh honey I just figured it was from a guy you sure are friends with a lot of them. But I didn't feel right opening your mail." She replied back just a little sheepishly. But I wasn't going to be nice so I let her have it.  
"Oh, but you can READ it! What the hell is wrong with you!"  
My mother and I fought like that for over an hour. Not just about the letter but about other things as well and my father became involved with it for awhile. And the letter must have been lost in the confusion. So it wasn't till nearly two weeks later that I even remembered about it let alone read it.  
It was because of my mother that I lost the letter and because of my mother that I found it again. My mother and I fought and fought so I moved out. Not very far away just to the garage. (Hey every step no matter how small is still a step.)  
So as I was moving my stuff I found the letter under my dresser. It was half out of the envelope and a little worse from wear. But still very readable. I forgot what it was then when I remembered considered throwing the evil little thing away. But I decided against it and opened it all the way.  
  
Dear 


End file.
